I walk around the neighborhood to get off my fat ass because I’m not going to go to the gym. I used to carry my football around when I walked. A few years ago, one of the guys in the neighborhood threw his hands up for a pass. I tossed him the rock, we chopped it up, dapped up and went about our day. Anytime I saw him after that, we were cordial, chopped it up, dapped up and went about our day. One day, his grandson was outside and him and I played catch for awhile. He told me about his time starting flag football, his baseball team, and how he wanted to play in the NFL. That became a ritual whenever I walked past his house. If he visited, he would tell me his grandson was outside looking for me so he could throw the ball around.
This week, that neighbor stopped me in the street and he told me he started chemo therapy. He went through a range of emotions in the 5 minute conversation we had. He expressed his acceptance, but he told me he wanted to see his grandkids grow up. He wanted to be there to watch his grandson play ball.
People feel comfortable talking to me and I never hesitate to listen and the shit be heavy. It’s one of the few things that reminds me that I’m human. I avoid people. I don’t trust anybody. Everything fucking sucks because a decade ago people found out you can make money online by being an asshole, and it’s everybody personality, it’s their grift. They can’t escape it, being chronically online has ruined everything, so when I connect with a neighbor, or someone going through something, all my problems seem insignificant. I’m saying this in one of the worst time periods in DeQwan Young history.
I feel deeply and the shit be pissing me off. I can’t disconnect like everybody else. I’m kind, or at least I try to be, and this isn’t the world we live in, it’s just the world I was prepared for. I told dude, “Keep fighting”. He asked me for a hug.
I’m not sure if it was for him or it was for me, but it mattered in the moment, and that’s something for which I’m grateful.
This interaction was real. If you read this and you’re fighting, keep going, fuck that shit. Wake up everyday on purpose, with a goal to make it to the next day. Be bigger than your problems and walk by faith, because that’s all you got. But the most important thing is to do what we’re supposed to do as humans, and be kind to one another.
